The Perfect Words
by meganekko-bomb
Summary: Fatherson oneshot. End of game scenario between Lloyd and Kratos.Spoilers if you haven't finished the game.


_**The Perfect Words:** Fatherson fic. Kratos tries to explain to Lloyd what happened after Anna died. Angsty, alternating Lloyd and Kratos POV's. Spoilers abound, don't read this if you haven't finished the game with the Kratos ending. Love and kisses, MBOM._

_Dedicated to Father's Day and my super Dad, Dave._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tales of Symphonia and I certainly do not own Father's Day._

_**Authoress' Note:** This is a oneshot that takes place right before Kratos leaves. Please review and all that. Love and kisses, MBOM._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_It was only two days ago that I named the new mana tree. Yggdrasill. I can only hope the tree does its title justice. We have been camping in the Holy Ground of Kharlan, Sheena, Presea, Zelos, and Regal; Genis, the Professor, and Colette. The whole gang, they're so happy now. Kratos is here too, I still can't believe that he could possibly be my father, although the name seems to come naturally to my lips when I go to speak his name. 'Dad'. It's all that seems to come to mind when I see him. Him and Mom. They were so happy together, I can tell from this picture. This locket, the last of any of his memories, I can't ever believe how he could give that up. I don't think I could. I keep it close to my heart, and subconsciously find myself holding it tightly, I wish Kratos would notice how thankful I am, I want him to open up and be my Dad so badly. He's been really quiet lately though; When I talk about going on our journey to retrieve the Exspheres he doesn't say very much, except a small smile and a quiet agreement. I wish I knew what was the matter. _

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_I want to tell him that I'm leaving, that I can't be his father here, that I couldn't remain here as the only surviving member of Cruxis. He won't understand, I know he won't. He thinks I'm going to stay here with him and be there as his father. I have to keep up my mask of no emotion, or he will see my motive. I feel the mask slip at every sight of him, he reminds me so much of Anna. I need to remain as distant as possible; I don't want Lloyd to get attached to me, and I can't be attached to him. It will just make it harder when I leave. Not that it won't be as things stand now. No one will want me to leave, it seems. But I have to._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The bright moonlight illuminated the Holy Ground of Kharlan, dripping light off the remains of the Tower of Salvation. I awoke to see Kratos walking off into the rubble, his wings released. His wings are a beautiful blue; I always wondered why I didn't like blue. He had his wings released when Mom died, when he killed her. The color sticks out in my mind, along with the pain I felt that day. They go hand in hand. Kratos' wings and pain.

Kratos floated lazily over the jutting rocks, he seemed to be going to the other side, to where the entrance used to be. Quietly, I shuffled out of my blankets and followed him. He turned around when he saw me, and shook his head, motioning for me to go back to bed. I returned his movement of the head and caught up to him, he closed his eyes, and covered his face with his hands, sighing deeply. He was still hovering over the rocks, but I was on a higher piece of rock, and we were pretty much the same height.

"Kratos?" I asked, placing a hand on his shoulder, he pressed on after a moment, with a layer of tears in his eyes.

"Go back to bed, Lloyd…" he said almost silently, stepping over a very large piece of stone sculpture to the vast flat area ahead marking the entrance of the destroyed Tower. He abandoned the use of his wings; they trailed feebly behind him, feathers detaching and fluttering down, disappearing as soon as they touched the ground, he dragged his feet depressingly, adding to my concern.

"No, I'm awake now anyway, what's the matter?"

Kratos halted on the ruinless earth, turning around abruptly. "I'm leaving." he stated, in a somewhat choked voice.

"Wh-what?" I shook my head in disbelief, jumping over the last of the rocks to land at his side. I looked at him, it was so obvious how he was trying not to let on what he was feeling.

"I have to go away. I cannot remain here as the last member of Cruxis." he kept his voice monotonous and even, pointedly looking away from me. I stepped in front of him, blocking his path.

"No, you're coming with me and Colette and everyone, aren't you? Aren't you?" I could see already that his answer was no, my chest tightened at the thought of never seeing my father again. I couldn't be separated from him now that I knew who he really was. I didn't want my father to leave. A lump rose in my throat as I tried to coax him away from his intention. He tried to walk ahead again, but I stopped him.

"Dad, don't go. You can't leave me. I need you to stay with me." I wasn't even aware of the tears falling down my face, and before I knew it, I was sobbing into his chest and holding him as tightly as I could.

"Don't go, please, I'll do anything, just don't leave me. Dad, please." I felt his arms come around me, and I felt truly safe in his embrace.

"Lloyd, I have to." he kept the same flat voice he was using before, "I cannot stay here." his voice swept past my ear in whispered tones.

"No, stay here with me, no one will care that you're an angel… Please Dad." I was still for a moment, and felt a drop of water land on my face, not from my own tears. I looked up and saw the tears running down his face, matching my own.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd." he said in a low voice, breaking apart from my embrace. He brushed past me determinedly; his wings dusting my face, a blue feather clung to my coat.

"Why are you sorry?" I demanded in a strangled voice, "Because you killed Mom? Because you left me all alone? Because you're leaving me alone now? Why!"

He turned around again, wiping his face of the tears and setting his mask of apathy firmly in place again. "I'm sorry for everything." he said inexpressively, before setting off on his way again.

"Stop walking away from me!" I cried, rushing forwards and punching him in the chest, "Stop it, just stop… stop…" I sank to the ground at his feet, weeping profusely. He knelt down beside me, pulling me into a heartfelt hug. I couldn't let him go, not now, I wasn't ready for this to happen. I thought he was going to be there forever. Like he should be. Like any father should be.

"Lloyd, I need you to know what happened after Anna died. I need you to know before I leave. I don't think I will ever come back. You need to know this."

I stared up at him, his face was expressionless, but his eyes told the truth of his emotions. I could see how much this was torturing him; to keep calm when all he wanted to do was cry.

"When you and Anna were gone I didn't know what to do. I thought for sure that you must be dead. I'm not sure what happened after that. I-"

He paused and swallowed, two large tears pulled away from his eyes, I tried to catch my breath and willed the sick feeling in my chest away; it remained, however, and I said nothing.

"I think I tried to kill myself…" he finished, "I thought I could be with you if I died."

I gulped back tears, "You wouldn't have been with me though…"

Dad tightened his hold on me, he opened his mouth to say something else, but couldn't speak. He compromised by glancing upwards at the stars. I looked up too. A rush a memories burst forth in my mind, I remembered this. Looking at the stars with my Dad. A beautiful memory. And the only true recollection of my childhood. I erupted in a new surge of tears and leaned into Dad.

"Lloyd, I knew you were alive somewhere. Yuan told me, but I couldn't find the strength to look for you. I thought you were better off without me."

"How could you think that?" I asked, completely engulfed in misery now. "How?"

"I don't know." he said extremely quietly, I stared at him in disbelief. He looked to the stars once again, pointing upward with his free hand.

"That purple planet is Derris-Kharlan. When I leave, it will get smaller and smaller. And when you can't see it anymore, and maybe it won't hurt so much."

I found this hard to believe, I couldn't stand how much I needed him there, I wanted to scream for him to stay. Anything to keep him here I would try.

He stood abruptly, helping me to my feet, he held me in one last embrace, whispering, "Don't die before I do, Lloyd, my son."

I felt him loosen his grip, I held on however, and felt the sensation of flying. He lifted me in the air slightly before I dropped down, with tears snaking down my face unguardedly. Tears spilled out of his eyes as well, falling from the sky and splashing down onto me.

"Daddy!" I sobbed, "Don't leave me, please. Come back!" my voice broke as I called up to his departing form. I fell to my knees again, the last of the rain of tears gone. The blue feather that clung to my coat fluttered down in front of me. I picked it up and wept heavily, falling onto the ground and immediately felt drowsy, clutching it, and willed him back in vain.

"Come back, Daddy. I love you… come back…"

Then, darkness prevailed and the last thing I saw was the bright blue feather in my hand, sparkling and warming my hand. Daddy was right there beside me.

Forever.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o


End file.
